Mom Illustrated

Mayhem, Momics and More

2012 Momster Wallpaper Calendar

Hope everyone’s weekend was wonderful!
Just wanted to say thanks for supporting me this first year and wanted to give back by giving away some digital desktop calendars the the new year.
Here is one based on the Momster series.
Download at will ladies and gentlemen! (There will be a few more this week…just gotta make ‘em)

Momster Desktop Calendar


800 x 600 | 1024 x 768

Momster Desktop Wallpaper

Download 1024 x 768

(I would love a comment letting me know that you grabbed one, but no pressure!)

 

 

GRRRRAND MOMSTER

Yes…here she is. The epitome of terrifying and No. Last in the Momster series.
(See the full series!)

A terrifying, evolved and mutated strain  – The Grrrrandmomster

Name: Magnimomicus Impero

Characterized by:

  • critiquing everything you’re trying to accomplish
  • feeding your kids everything that you won’t let them eat
  • buying your kids the stuff that you won’t let them have
  • telling you to chill out about it “for goodness sake!”

Kids identified by:

  • wanting to stay with Grandma instead of coming home with you. (Hah! Revenge!)

Momster: Supermatrix Unrealisticata

The Monster of all Momsters:

Name: Supermatrix Unrealisticata

Commonly known as: Super Mom

Characterized by:

  • organized house
  • spotless car
  • bankbook in order
  • freezer full of turkey lasagna
  • an irritatingly chirpy facebook status that often end with “phew!”
  • a cupboard full of Xanax

Kids identified by:

  • being better than yours

Momster: Sporticus Crazicata

This week’s Momster:

Name: Sporticus Crazicata

Commonly known as: Crazy Fan Stand Mom

Characterized by:

  • throbbing veins under turquoise eyeshadow
  • a hoarse voice and Gatorade® flavoured throat lozenges
  • a spectacular mastery of modern profanities that often involve body excrement, spiritual teachers and the words: “muncher”, “git” and “on a cracker”

Children identified by:

  • a complete indifference to sports

Momster: Progenitor Narcissus

Run away! Run away!

Name: Progenitor Narcissus

Commonly known as: Know it all Mommy
Characterized by:

  • happily chuckling to herself about how she is SO WEIRD for having her diaper bag organized by hue and smell. I guess she’s just a GREAT MOM, DON’T YOU THINK?
  • lecturing you on motherhood, parenting, children and discipline recited word for word from Dr. Phil.com
  • letting you know all of her plans for her kid until he turns 47. (Since he likes playing with the contents of his diaper, he’s obviously a genius so she’s putting him in advanced playdoh modeling.
  • knowing exactly what you should do with your crying kid 23 seconds after meeting him.
  • not knowing where her kid is at the moment. Oh well, she’s helping you, right now.

Children identified by:

  • being hands-down the most obnoxious child in the room.

keep looking »

  • About Mom Illustrated

    This blog was started in 2011 by artist and illustrator Jana Curll during maternity-leave with her second child.
    In 2012 it was opened up to other masochistic parents (or observers of parents) who feel compelled to draw their stories.
    Bless us, one and all.

  • Follow/Contact Me!

  • Please vote for me! Just click the link!

    Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

  • Check Out These Series Yo.

  • Follow Mom Illustrated

  • Categories

  • Archive

    • @babbleeditors Here are a few things I recommend for the hospital bag. (More for the parents than the baby though...) ,