Extra Pickles & Floating Heads: How to Know When You’re Pregnant.
Posted on | January 6, 2012 | 6 Comments
This week of awesome pregnancy illustrations has inspired this little diddy based on the moments I knew I was pregnant with each of my kids. Nothing like putting some crazy out there on a Friday morning.
Jack
With Jack, I not only know the moment I knew I was pregnant…I know the moment I became pregnant…like zygote starts actually buzzing around in the system pregnant.
10:04pm, February 28, 2008 while falling asleep.
Nothing explicit here folks. Not that kind of blog.
Then all of a sudden, my body started to earthquake vibrate and my heart started pounding in my head and all my appendages went numb…I thought I was dying.
Whut thuh?
Now this is where it gets f*cked up. Then I saw MY KID’S FLOATING HEAD.
No. Joke.
So I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do when this happens…and it wasn’t like I saw it in my “mind’s eye”…I saw it floating there, a three year old’s face in front of me. So I just…looked at it.
My thought at that moment: *that's a boy...or a really butchy girl*
I woke up the next day completely in denial. But despite feeling totally fine, I puked all day until I was a puddle of dry-heave in the staff bathroom. I convinced myself it was just a coincidence because morning sickness doesn’t start the first day you’re pregnant, right?
I claimed it was sunstroke, despite it being only March. Smooth.
The next day I was fine. In fact it was the only time during both pregnancies I was ever sick.
A month later, three pregnancy tests and a trip to the doctor confirmed it. I then confidently declared that I was psychic, having a boy and could tell you exactly what he would look like.
Exactly 9 months and 1 day after having what I call “the floating head” incident, I gave birth.
Luckily the head came with a body.
Rowan
Because I was now a confirmed moon-mama, in-tune with my ovaries and uterus (I call them Ruth, Lil and Gwen) in a way science can’t possibly explain, I was, of course, expecting the same earth shattering experience to happen if I were to get pregnant again.
Kinda.
I can’t even remember the day…sometime in July probably. I was running a few errands after dropping Jack off at daycare. It was about 9am and I thought that I’d grab my lunch while I was out.
Eat fresh...
I grabbed a large sub, you know, for lunch and dinner.
Smart.
Efficient!
I never even made it out the door.
You’d think I hadn’t just had two bowls of cereal an hour earlier.
Yeah. I know what this means.
Since I was at the mall, I grabbed a pregnancy test from the drugstore and used it in the mall bathroom while it was being cleaned.
There it was. Positive. I’d been duped.
Then I told my husband in the most sentimental fashion ever.
Public washroom pregnancy moment inspired by Degressi Jr. High.
God. Isn’t this just a beautiful scene?
And that’s how it happened. The end.
No. Seriously. My stories are over.
What are your stories? How did you *know*?
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6 Responses to “Extra Pickles & Floating Heads: How to Know When You’re Pregnant.”
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{ Thanks Elle! Baby number 2 is entering the terrible twos... } – Sep 11, 6:35 AM
{ The Terrible Twos are actually really cute, too. We especially... } – Sep 11, 3:23 AM
{ I loved this story. Floating heads, lol! Sweetly evil.
} – Jun 24, 3:21 PM{ hi jenna, i'm a friend of celia's and i think... } – Jun 03, 1:56 PM
{ This was really beautiful to read, Anna. I'm so happy... } – May 25, 1:29 PM
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January 6th, 2012 @ 6:50 am
I love this. I would have to say you aren’t the only one to experience the floating head.
We made Hunter on my hubbys birthday. A week later, I was eating more than he was, and he’s a pretty solid guy. Then the next week, I woke up sweating and looked at my stomache for some strange reason, and I saw my baby’s face. Looked like both of us-Smiled at me with no teeth. 2 weeks later, the doctor confirmed it- but I wasn’t going in for a totally different reason, minor procedure.. needless to say it got put off. Hubby was so happy he had told everyone before I was able to get back to work from my appt.
January 6th, 2012 @ 6:57 am
Hallelujah. Other people with floating kid-heads. Although a belly-head trumps my free-floating head I think!
January 6th, 2012 @ 8:02 am
I ‘just knew’ with Sully, back in 2008… But the tests came up negative. Once there was this almost invisible positive line, and I stared and stared at it because I figured it would get darker and confirm my suspicion… When I finally knew for sure, Steve was in Texas at a Microsoft thing, working like mad, so I didn’t want to tell him. I just had to though, no big surprise or anything… And he went off to take in the 4th of July madness down there, while I sat at home feeling weird.
Second time, it took only one cycle to conceive. I knew it had worked, and while I was out swimming in the ocean with my friend Pat and that whale that visited last year, I told Pat. We joked that soon enough, I’d be about the size of that whale. It was only about 30 feet from us; very surreal experience.
January 6th, 2012 @ 9:30 am
I was in Vancouver for the night, heading to the Eric Clapton concert, and instead of my typical 2 bottles of wine … I ordered tea. That’s when I KNEW something was UP. (The ridiculous appetite and pickle cravings ((and lobster bisque!?! Cravings)) came shortly after). i waited for my floating head dream, but it never happened.
January 6th, 2012 @ 11:16 pm
I knew sort of the next day when I got to my chemistry class and the subject I had a wonderful and complete grasp of the day before was like a foreign language all of a sudden. A week later, watching ‘The Miracle of Life’ in my Biology class I thought just as the blastocyst was implanting into the wall of the uterus that my baby was doing the same thing right now. Of course this is all too soon to take a test but I did anyway and it was negative and tricked me. Finally after a few more weeks waiting for my girly time to come because my breasts were incredibly sore I was told I should probably take another pregnancy test. I was severely nauseated this whole time too but had been for more than a month before I even conceived so I thought nothing of that. The pregnancy test came back positive on October 31st 2007. That was the best Halloween ever as far as I am concerned.
June 24th, 2012 @ 3:21 pm
I loved this story. Floating heads, lol! Sweetly evil.