Posted on | January 6, 2012 | 6 Comments
This week of awesome pregnancy illustrations has inspired this little diddy based on the moments I knew I was pregnant with each of my kids. Nothing like putting some crazy out there on a Friday morning.
With Jack, I not only know the moment I knew I was pregnant…I know the moment I became pregnant…like zygote starts actually buzzing around in the system pregnant.
10:04pm, February 28, 2008 while falling asleep.
Then all of a sudden, my body started to earthquake vibrate and my heart started pounding in my head and all my appendages went numb…I thought I was dying.
Now this is where it gets f*cked up. Then I saw MY KID’S FLOATING HEAD.
So I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do when this happens…and it wasn’t like I saw it in my “mind’s eye”…I saw it floating there, a three year old’s face in front of me. So I just…looked at it.
I woke up the next day completely in denial. But despite feeling totally fine, I puked all day until I was a puddle of dry-heave in the staff bathroom. I convinced myself it was just a coincidence because morning sickness doesn’t start the first day you’re pregnant, right?
The next day I was fine. In fact it was the only time during both pregnancies I was ever sick.
A month later, three pregnancy tests and a trip to the doctor confirmed it. I then confidently declared that I was psychic, having a boy and could tell you exactly what he would look like.
Exactly 9 months and 1 day after having what I call “the floating head” incident, I gave birth.
Luckily the head came with a body.
Because I was now a confirmed moon-mama, in-tune with my ovaries and uterus (I call them Ruth, Lil and Gwen) in a way science can’t possibly explain, I was, of course, expecting the same earth shattering experience to happen if I were to get pregnant again.
I can’t even remember the day…sometime in July probably. I was running a few errands after dropping Jack off at daycare. It was about 9am and I thought that I’d grab my lunch while I was out.
I grabbed a large sub, you know, for lunch and dinner.
I never even made it out the door.
You’d think I hadn’t just had two bowls of cereal an hour earlier.
Since I was at the mall, I grabbed a pregnancy test from the drugstore and used it in the mall bathroom while it was being cleaned.
There it was. Positive. I’d been duped.
Then I told my husband in the most sentimental fashion ever.
God. Isn’t this just a beautiful scene?
And that’s how it happened. The end.
No. Seriously. My stories are over.
What are your stories? How did you *know*?